when will b the timE!??

tick tock tick tock!
the time is running fast n not much time is left!
how much more time would b left!
it's almost a year!
not even a glance!
how long would tis go on!
a lifetime
a year
a month
a millennium
i juz can't stand it anymore!
when would v meet!
it's juz taking too long!
i wan 2 b wit you right here right now!
v keep on planning but v keep telling 2 ourselves tat v should not plan n let God lead us through the way!
but still it ain't possible!
when would the time b!
when would God let us b together??
this question juz keep on buzzing in my head?!?!?

i feel like crying?!

2nite i am promising myself tat i would change 2 b a better person n tat all of my mistakes i would handle it wit full of courage n responsibility eventhough i am scared of my mum!
after wat had happened 2nite!
i feel UBER bad abt my mum n dad!
tat they r working so hard n staying very far apart from each other!
n not as v use 2 live b4!
where dad used 2 come home every nite n mum sleeping a lil bit more early than now!
when mum was more happier n relaxed!
n dad use 2 take us to school instead of her!
it's a very sad moment when i saw her cry n the sound was like a knife being stabbed into my heart!
i felt like crying but i was scared tat my parents would c me n ask me y so i controlled myself n again i continued studying!

i had juz realized tat how much my parents went through in their old ages!
it's a cruel moment!
n now shes in her room alone doing paperwork!
n dad has 2 sleep on the floor in the study room where i am at now!
i feel so bad!
i wish tat tis would settle quick as i dun wan tis 2 continue everytime!

n i think it is time 4 me 2 sleep write now!
so i'll probably end the post rite now!

-sad piggy hoping parents would get bac 2gether again-

arguments?!!

*sigh*
i hav juz noticed tat there are so many types of tears!
tears of joy
tears of depression
tears of happiness
tears of sadness
tears of err...anxiety
tears of....hmm...sumthing

but 4 my post i'll b blogging abt tears of sadness
this post is totally abt both my parents

*sigh*

well here it goes!
hmm..
my dad came bac from Australia
it has already been a week
n he's oing bac on Monday!
but guess wat!
he doesn't hav a ticket 2 fly from Penang Island to KL LCCT ticket!
so dad went in n talked 2 her abt it!
n dad got scolded
at tat same time i was abt 2 go into my room 2 do sum homework n revision
n i heard it all!
i didn't wanna make a noise so i tippy-toe myself 2 my room n closed the door!
n then opened my parents room door n my mum inside crying!
she was saying(quoted)
"how can you say tat it is alright!don't say tat you will pay 4 it?!?!you can't always think tat money grows on trees,it has been hard since you left home,wit kids around,how can you 4get abt yr flight?!?!!you should hav responsibility over it!it is not me flying but you.hav you ever asked me where did the money come from!"
*dead silence*
*sobs of mum's cries*

n from then onwards i was thinking in my room!
juz can't stand it anymore!
arguments SUCK a lot!

well i think it's getting late n i should probably go 2 sleep so ya ok!
gudnitey!

it's juz been too long!!!

soon it'll b 1 year n not even1 sight of each other!
life has been rough n u hav always been there!
i juz read yr blog n i feel useless n miserable!
ya i hav noticed tat v arent as close as v used 2 b!
n it's juz coz i got's no time n tata u know i'm always on code 9 n i'm always bz!
it's actually kinda depressing n sad!
but i hav no choice!
studying is juz too hard 4 me 2 handle!
i juz wanna b wit you every nano second n i so do not spend 24/7 juz on books!
i don't do so when i'm online chatting wit u!
n i'm always actually very free but i juz spend time reading books tat's all!
whihc doesn't reli cna make my head go KABOOM!!
hehe!

k lar gonnab reli short!
will continue next time!
my lil bro annoying me 2 pieces rite now!